Dead on the surface, but I'm screaming underneath




Michelle, 17, the Netherlands

blogging since the 9th of December 2010

an empty heart and a mind full of pain

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Anonymous asked:
"I've been having a rough couple of weeks. One of my really close friends has just sort of stopped talking to me. I mean if I ask a question she'll reply but it will be short and she never starts the conversation. Also we used to walk to macro together and now she bolts off. It's so frustrating because she told me she was upset so I apologized and she was fine and then she just stopped acknowledging me. Plus, I hate confrontation so I have no idea what to do but it's making me sad."

I’m sorry so to hear that. It’s so rude of her to just stop talking to you like that! I bet you haven’t done anything to deserve that, have you? You’re always so nice, I can’t imagine why someone would treat you like that. I hope next week will be a lot better for you. I’ve had a quite boring week actually, but I’m going out tomorrow so that will be fun. I’m watching John Mayer’s concert on blue ray right now and I just can’t wait for October. What are you up to this weekend? I hope you’re going to do something that makes you happy.


Anonymous asked:
"WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well?"

Like this is not the first time I saw someone getting an anon ask getting the exact same question.

What the hell is tumblr diet? Pills that magically give you the ability to burn calories while blogging?


Anonymous asked:
"A lot of people die on Mt. Everest because really high up there's not as much oxygen so they can't breathe as well. The altitude is also really high which causes a lot of problems with the brains. As well as fatigue from how much climbing it is."

I knew there’s a lack of oxygen up there. But I know some people have reached the top, so I thought it might have been something else. I feel sorry for the people who didn’t make it.


Anonymous asked:
"Some people go way over board on the spray tans and it looks awful. I love barbeques. They're so much fun. I always enjoy the burgers and hot dogs that we make. I'm glad that you had fun. I'm not allowed to stay over friends' houses on school nights. I have to be home. I had to read about a 1996 climb of Mount Everest and it was so sad because 5 people died. This is my last week of softball! They're having junior day for us juniors on Thursday. It's going to be sad. I'll miss my team. :)"

It really does. We didn’t have a school night. I’m not allowed either. We were free on Monday this week so I had some time to catch up from my lack of sleep. That’s so sad! How come they died? Were they stuck in a storm? I hope you enjoyed your last day of softball, even though it was a sad day! Last night I started reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince again. I’m glad I can read a book I really enjoy again since I’m done reading for school this year.


Anonymous asked:
"It's okay. Some people wore low cut dresses but didn't have the chest to pull it off. And some of the spray tans were terrible. English has so many rules and to each rule there are exceptions. Like it's an hour rather than a hour. That doesn't follow the rules. I can see how learning English is easier on Tumblr. I am learning Spanish and I really want to go to Spain. I can't wait to test out my knowledge. I know that I don't understand all the finer aspects but I get the big picture. :)"

Yeah it’s hideous when people wear such dresses when they can’t pull it off. I never find spray tans pretty. They just don’t look natural and most girls don’t really know when it doesn’t look natural any more. Learning a language in class is very different from actually going to a country and talking to local people. You learn it so much faster that way. I had a fun barbecue last night with friends. I stayed over for the night with one other girl and three other guys at her house. We stayed up late and I had to share my bed so I’m really tired now. But it was really nice. :)


Anonymous asked:
"Hello! Today I had to help spread the mulch that we bought all over our property. It took a while. We went to Five Guys for lunch which was great. I really like their burgers. The fries are good as well. I finally got to watch an episode of Sherlock and I was so excited. I haven't watched them in a while and it was nice to see it again. I'm going to watch the rest soon. I have a question. Did you find it hard to learn English? I was just thinking about all our funny rules."

Sorry I wasn’t online yesterday! At prom there are always people who wear dresses they shouldn’t! Everyone can wear dresses but some people really haven’t figured out which one is right for them. I remember last year there was this girl who wore her mother’s wedding dress. It was too big, it didn’t fit at all and it looked like all she was doing was craving for attention. I’ve never seen Star Trek either! Haha yeah I always see people from the Sherlock fandom complaining about waiting for the next season. I hope it won’t be too long until it’s aired! I’ve never heard of Five Guys. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

I found it hard to learn English at first! I was quite bad at it, but that’s because I’m quite bad at learning any foreign language really. English doesn’t have so much funny rules as German or French, that was terrible. I’ve had both subjects for three years and I wouldn’t know what to do or say if I was in Germany or France all alone. But I’ve developed in speaking English really quickly. Since I became addicted to Harry Potter I watched a lot of videos online with my best friend who weren’t subtitled. And when I joined tumblr it actually became a piece of cake. I’m one of the best in my class now actually. Did you learn any foreign language? I remember you talking about Spanish once if I’m right.


Anonymous asked:
"You're beautiful!!! <3 Have a glorious day!"

Wow thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. I hope you have a glorious day too!


Anonymous asked:
"It was on United States History. It was not as bad as I was expecting but I still have no idea how I did. I hope I did well though. Tomorrow I have my AP Macroeconomics exam. I studied some but not really that much. We did a lot of review in class which was helpful. When does your school day start and end? Mine starts at 7:30 and ends at 2. We won our softball game today 27-11 or something like that which was nice. It's kind of sad that the season ends next Friday. I'll miss my team. :)"

I hope you did well too. How did your AP Marcoeconomics go? My school starts at 8:15 when you have class first period. If you have class until last period it’s until 3:50 but most days I’ve got class until 3:05. But my schedule on Friday is kind of strange actually, I start at 10:50 and got class until 3:05. And since my first period tomorrow got cancelled I start at 11:35. 7:30 is so early! Do you eat breakfast at school? We never do that here in the Netherlands but I’ve heard some countries do. That’s so good! But it isn’t nice you’ve got to miss your team. When does next season start? I just burned my thumb while making dinner and it has been raining all day but apart from that I’ve had a good day. What about you? :)


Anonymous asked:
"I love going to the library because then you know that the book has brought so many other people the joy that it brought you. To think of all the times that copy has been read amazes me. I have my APUSH exam tomorrow and I'm going to die. It's going to be so hard and I don't feel all that prepared. I never got in the study time that I wanted to put in. Oh well! I can't change it now. I hope that school is going well for you! :)"

That’s totally true. I love that as well. That’s something I miss in the library from school, because most people have read a book because they have to and not because they’ve enjoyed it. I hope your exam will go okay! What is it about? School is going alright, thank you for asking :). I’ve had a though couple of days already because most of my school days are really long and tiring, but I’ve got a nice weekend to look forward to. :)


Anonymous asked:
"It was Mother's Day so the Coach had roses for each player to give their Mom and they had extras. The rose is now on my kitchen table. Do you have a library near you? I try and take out books whenever possible because buying them to read only once is too expensive. I still have to read the book my micro teacher gave me in December, The Worldly Philosophers. It actually looks quite good! I'm excited to read it. :)"

That’s so cute! I do, but I use the library at school. I don’t have a pass from the library near me any more and I love owning books so I can highlight some quotes and things. It’s nice you can read books you actually like! My school started again this week, and I’m already sick of the homework and getting up early. But just a couple of weeks left and then it’s over! Everyone’s getting really stressed out because of the upcoming finals.